My original goal for this blog was to focus on one inspiring project a week which would equal writing one weekly post reflecting on it. Well…all of a sudden last week has passed by and…umm…where the hell did all of my days go? So busy, so overwhelmed, so many emotions, fitting everything in, running around, trying to be at my best and then oh no – I forgot about my commitment to work on a weekly project and I started to feel like a failure during what should be an inspiring journey. I began downhill spiraling thinking… I missed this week and if someone asks me about it I won’t have anything I’m working on and I’ll seem lazy and that I don’t finish what I start and I’m irresponsible and I started this blog for no reason, it’s stupid, pointless… And well, you get my point- my mind raced on and on…until I caught myself and told myself to STOP that crap! Haha! And yes…I spoke that out loud to myself. 🙂 This may seem a bit of a dramatic reaction for such a small thing- but I’ve noticed the same type of thinking keeps repeating itself and is becoming “a thing” that I’m realizing I need to work on. I am the only one getting in my way when I think like that. Last week was one of the busiest, most challenging and exciting weeks of my life and just getting through it was a huge project in itself. It’s easy to get down on myself for not being enough or not doing enough. I’m learning that my standards I put on myself are MUCH more harsh than what I think other people’s standards of myself is. Why does this happen? At the end of the day, I am left with my mind and my body and I should be on my own side- for my benefit and happiness! Why am I my own worst enemy when I need to be my own cheerleader? That sounds so cheesy and cliche. But, it kinda rings true to me in this moment, so I’m going to run with it!! (After all, my life is a bit of a Hallmark movie…)
This all became very present today as I discovered today is the day I usually write and I felt like I had absolutely nothing to share. But when I got past all that nonsense, I realized there are some points in your life where just getting through a day, a week, a month, a year, or a few years is ENOUGH. It’s good- it’s more than good!
So, this past week’s project (even though I didn’t know it as it was happening) was to just get through the week! And it was enough. I did get through it. And I’m alive and well. I may have many more of those types of weeks- I know I will. And I will work on being okay with just getting through. This journey is my own and I’m creating it, so there’s no need to bully myself or create unrealistic standards when I will never be perfect no matter how hard I try. I will embrace being imperfect and just keep going and allowing it all to be enough. Onward.